Observation with and without Evaluation
| No. | Communication | Observation with Evaluation | Observation no Evaluation |
| 1. | The use of the verb ‘to be’ without an indication that the evaluator takes responsibility for the evaluation | You are too generous | When I see you give all your lunch money away to others I feel you are being too generous |
| 2. | Use of verb with evaluative connotations | Doug procrastinates | Doug only studies for his exams that night before the test |
| 3. | Implication that the inference made about another’s thoughts, feelings, intentions or desires are the only ones possible | She wont get her work in | I don’t think she’ll get her work in. |
| 4. | Confusion of prediction with certainty | If you don’t eat balanced meals, your health will be impaired | If you don’t eat balanced meals, I fear that your health may become impaired |
| 5. | Failure to be specific about referents | Minorities don’t take care of their property | I have not seen the minority family living across the road shovel the snow building on their sidewalk |
| 6. | Use of words denoting ability without indicating that an evaluation is being made | Joyce Smith is a poor soccer player | Joyce Smith hasn’t scored a goal in 20 matches |
| 7. | Use of adverbs and adjectives in ways that don’t signify an evaluation has been made | Jim is ugly | Jim’s looks don’t appeal to me |
Exaggerations:
- Always
- Never
- (For)ever
- Whenever
- Seldom
- Frequently
- Most
And other qualifiers, are sometimes used as exaggerations – and when used as such they tend to provoke defensiveness rather than connection and compassion. They are illustrate observation and evaluation being mixed.
| No. | Observation with Evaluation | Observation no Evaluation |
| 1. | You are always busy | For the last 3 weeks you’ve not been able to meet up with me |
| 2. | She is never around when she’s needed | I’ve tried 4 times to unsuccessfully get hold of her |
| 3. | Toby talks forever on the phone | When I’ve seen Toby on the phone, he has talked for at least 45 minutes each time |
| 4. | You haven’t ever written to me | I can’t recall your ever writing to me |
| 5. | You seldom do what I ask you to do | The last 3 times I initiated an activity you said you didn’t want to do it |
| 6. | He comes over to my place frequently | He comes over to my house at least 3 times per week. |
| 7. | She is the most arrogant speaker I’ve ever heard | She interrupts and speaks over other people before they have finished sharing their point |
Observation with and without Evaluation: Practice Activity
Read each of the statements on the left, and decide whether they are Observations only, (O)or
Observation mixed with Evaluation (O&E). Then look at answers below. If you are incorrect, rephrase the statement into the form of an Observation (O) before looking at the example answer.
Statement
1. John was angry with me yesterday for no reason
2. Nancy was biting her fingernails during the film
3. My boss didn’t ask for my input or opinion during the meeting
4. My dad is such a good man
5. You lied to me about your grades
6. My neighbour is so aggressive
7. Pam was first in line every day this week
8. Luke told me that yellow doesn’t suit me
9. My aunt is always complaining when I talk with her
10. The doctor refuses to explain anything to me
Statements & Answers
1. John was angry with me yesterday for no reason
Answer
“for no reason” is an evaluation, and the interpretation that John was angry when he may have been feeling hurt, scared or sad = O&E
O = John raised his voice and pounded the table with his fist
2. Nancy was biting her fingernails during the film
Answer
O
3. My boss didn’t ask for my input or opinion during the meeting
Answer
O
4. My dad is such a good man
Answer
“good man” is an evaluation = O&E
O = For the last 10 years my dad has donated 10% of his salary to charity
5. You lied to me about your grades
Answer
“lied” is an evaluation = O&E
O = I heard you say you passed all your subjects, yet this report shows 2 ‘Fs’
6. My neighbour is so aggressive
Answer
“so aggressive” is an evaluation = O&E
O = My neighbour threw a brick at my dog when she was barking
7. Pam was first in line every day this week
Answer
O
8. Luke told me that yellow doesn’t suit me
Answer
O
9. My aunt is always complaining when I talk with her
Answer
“complaining” is an evaluation = O&E
O = My aunt called 3 times this week to tell me the nursing staff are treating her in ways she doesn’t feel is respectful
10. The doctor refuses to explain anything to me
Answer
“anything” is an exaggeration – O&E
O = The doctor didn’t say anything about what the real cause of this pain is
